Words of Wisdom

Serenity Prayer
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can;and wisdom to know the difference.Living one day at a time; Enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will;That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him forever in the next.

Amen.

Sober-Kelly Clarkson
And I don't know
This could break my heart or save me
Nothing's real
Until you let go completely
So here I go with all my thoughts I've been saving
So here I go with all my fears weighing on me

Three months and I'm still sober
Picked all my weeds but kept the flowers
But I know it's never really over

And I don't know
I could crash and burn but maybe
At the end of this road I might catch a glimpse of me
So I won't worry about my timing, I want to get it right
No comparing, second guessing, no not this time

Three months and I'm still breathing
Been a long road since those hands I left my tears in but I know
It's never really over, no

Wake up

Three months and I'm still standing here
Three months and I'm getting better yeah
Three months and I still am

Three months and it's still harder now
Three months I've been living here without you now
Three months yeah, three months

Three months and I'm still breathing
Three months and I still remember it
Three months and I wake up


Three months and I'm still sober
Picked all my weeds but kept the flowers 

I know who I am.

 I know who I am. I can say that with certainty. I have been silent on this blog since January and now want to share some of what I have been thinking.

I've been through a lot these past two years. Some may say its nothing, but to me it was a lot. The main theme was DOUBT, more specifically self-doubt. Since about age 12, I may have been one of the most insecure people someone could meet. Now I am 23 and am definitely  no longer that way. I feel stronger and happier than I ever have. It doesn't always show because I have been under a lot of stress, but its true. No matter what happens I know that there are people I can rely on and that things will ultimately get better.

I guess my main point on this blog is to say to myself and everyone that I am 100% over the past. All the moments I was upset, angry, frustrated, disappointed, hurt, depressed are fading away. All the people who I felt hurt me or put me down are forgiven. I know my encounters with them served to make me a stronger, wiser, more patient and more understanding person. Yesterday, I taught the kids at my job that "You can never understand someone unless you walk a mile in their shoes." Maybe every heartache I went through was just the result of a misunderstanding. People not being able to fully recognize what the other was going through. We are human. It happens. I learned from everyone and hope they learned something from me. I've learned that to hold a grudge means to continue holding on to the negativity those situations brought. Even if you get away from something/someone the emotions can follow you. Everyone owes it to themselves a release from past sorrows. That is my vow to myself. I am letting go. I can see all the good in my life clearer now.

I know I am strong, intelligent, silly, passionate, creative, compassionate, sensitive, etc. I accept all my strengths and all my flaws. Without that I would not be me. I feel myself approaching my future with confidence. Thank God. I am approaching the people I love knowing that they see all the good in me too. That they truly do mean it when they say they love me. Thank God!

I know who I am and I know I'm on the path to being who I want to be.

Thank you to all the incredible people who have always been there for me with all their love, advice, reality checks, laughs, smiles, and so much more.